The Power of Power.

Do you have any idea how hard it is to change a poopy diaper by candle light? Nearly impossible. I don't know how they did it in cave man days (did they even have diapers??? maybe they used leaves...). I could have gone postal on NV Energy the last 2 days. To say the least, my luck hasn't been that great since about Friday. I'm not going to bore you with my pitty party, but I will bore you with my strong abhorring for the flippin power company. Tuesday morning I woke up thinking, "Ming, we aren't in Kansas anymore". The wind was so strong it blew over one of our huge pine trees, blew our bbq across the patio, shifted all of our heavy patio furniture, and took tiles off of our roof. And of course, our power was out. I'm kind of used to that. Ever since we moved here last year, our power goes out more than ever in my life. The most has been for maybe 12 hours or so. Not this time. When I first called the power company they told me my power would be restored by noon. GREAT! Not a big deal at all. I was going to pack me and the baby up, go to my moms, shower and hang out. Then my handsome husband wakes up (don't have any clue how he slept through the tornado of the year) and says, "honey don't worry, in a half hour we will have power. I'm going to go get the generator and hook up our water." See, since we are on a well out here, if we don't have power, we don't have water. And since we have radiant floor heating, if we don't have water, we don't have heat. You get the picture, right? Well I'm thinking, "husband to the rescue!" and bless his soul, it was NOT a half hour later, but almost 5 hours later, we had water, And heat. And one light. That's right, by 2 pm we were ready to roll. But wait, the power company had said we would be restored by noon, hmmmm. I call again and this time they tell me 3. 3 pm comes and goes...no power. I call again. 7 pm is the new time estimate. While I'm gone picking up Bransons heart medicine (that is a WHOLE different story, I'll save it for a rainy day), 7 pm quickly popped up. Stillnopower (just say it as one word, it may as well be at this point). Ryan calls, and the lady PROMISES him it will be NO LATER than 9 pm. You can guess what happened next, right? Fast forward to the next day at 1 pm, we finally have power. We called so many times that they finally stopped giving us any information. And the worst part? Everyone on our street and in our entire neighborhood had power but us. It took a favor from a friend that has a brother who works at NV Energy to get this thing fixed. Within 2 hours of calling Mr. High-Up-At-NVEnergy, we were completely back in action. 33 hours later. I went 33 hours with no TV, no computer, no light, no washer/dryer, no dishwasher, no music, no life, with a 6 month old baby. So what is the lesson learned here? I'm going to do my very best to stick it to the power company. I'm researching wind mills and solar panels, and I'm going to forgo the damn power company. Anything has got to be better than dealing with those people. Except you Mr. High-Up that helped us. You're cool.

Let's have a mindful moment

Listen to the bell. Let the bell guide you into your mindful moment. Pay attention to your breathing, the movement in and out of your body. Breath. Notice your thoughts, but dismiss them as just that; thoughts. Let them go with each breath. Breath. Notice your places of tension. Any tension you may have in your body, be mindful of it, and let it go. Relax your head, your eyes, your neck, all the way to your toes. Breath. Bring your mind back to your breathing, and let it just be there. Just. Breath.

Feel better?

I do.

Aces

*Branson at his first Ace's game

*Branson sleeping with Momo






Is it bad that I'm sitting here humming the tune to Branson's baby Einstein play mat music thingy? Cause I am. And I find myself listening to Disney radio on Pandora, and watching Baby Neptune on the TV. Oh boy, I might be loosing it.

Anyhow. I have kind of "found" myself the last few days. Thursday we took Branson to the opening night at Aces ballpark. Seemed like a good idea. Right? Wrong. It was way too much for my baby. He had a meltdown about every 10 minutes as soon as we arrived. That meant that mom and or dad had to walk the baby until he relaxed, and the people around us were annoyed, and I was starving, and Ryan wanted to watch the game, and I didn't watch the game ( I couldn't even tell you who was playing). Needless to say we won't be doing that again for a very long time. At least if it's up to me. But, we learned our lesson at least. Friday my mom watched Branson while Ryan and I went to dinner, then I took baby home and Ryan went to the ballpark again. I'm sure it was much more enjoyable for everyone that night.

On to finding myself...Ryan and I spent the whole day together Saturday. We had a wonderful lunch at Hiroba Sushi. And, I even got to eat my whole meal uninterrupted because baby slept. Later that night, we went to the Aces game. And Branson stayed with Grandma and Grandpa. It was like, a DATE. I was even a little nervous. For many reasons. Number one, last time I went to the Aces game ( aside from Thursday, I'm not counting that), I was pregnant and uncomfortable. It was too hot. Or too cold. And I could NOT focus on the games. The only good thing was eating soft serve. Second, Ryan and I REALLY needed some time together. Some un-tense time. Would we get along? Would we have something to talk about? We did. And we did. It was so nice and so much more needed. A reconnection was made.

My mom always tells me to "remember the moments" with your baby. The moments where everything else is gone and it's just you and your little one. I got to have one of those moments this weekend. Saturday night we left the game at 9, which was early because it was cold (and maybe a little bit because we missed the baby). When we got to Mike and Barbara's, Barbara opened the door with Branson in her arms and it happened. My son reached for his mommy for the first time ever. Time stood still. It assured me that yes, he had missed me too and yes, he was happy to see me. My heart melting into pure goo. With tears in my eyes I held him tight. I never wanted to let him go. I didn't even want to put him in his car seat for the oh-so-long 3 minute drive home. I will never forget that moment. I'll remember every detail within our little bubble for the rest of my life.

Hoping and Praying...

Easter has tuckered our family out. I'm sitting here wondering where the last 5 months have gone. What happened to my little baby that barely stayed awake long enough to eat? He used to just lay there. Maybe look around a little. Wait quietly for someone to pick him up. Now...he's big. He has a personality. He laughs at funny things (like daddy). He grabs what ever it is that he wants. He then cries if you take it away. He knows his mommy and daddy, and often times doesn't want anyone else besides one of the two to hold him. He talks - ok babbles - he is awake most of the day, then fights sleep at night. He has found his feet and thinks that they will make very tastey treats, if only he could get the darn things to his mouth. And, he loves. Yes, he loves, and most importantly he loves me. I can see it and feel it every day. While there is nothing better than that feeling, I'm so sad at how fast the time is going.

This morning we got up at 5:30 am to get ready for church. And when I say "we", I mean me. I got up at 5:30, everyone else got up at about 6:20. And we were still rushing out the door to make it to 8:00 mass. But Branson looked so cute. He wore big boy pants with a button down shirt and a polo underneath. Any mother out there will tell you that most of the time if it looks cute on the hanger, and it doesn't snap at the crotch, it's going to be your worst enemy. But, at least he looked cute for 5 minutes. After church we had brunch at Momo's. The easter bunny left Branson a HUGE basket filled with a few toys and an abundance of candy. I think he forgot Branson doesn't eat solids yet. The rest of the day was filled as well, we went to Mike and Barbara's for lunch and an egg hunt with Dylan and Jaslyn, then home to meet with Grandpa B and Marlaina. Let me tell you Branson made out like a bandit. Fun toys, cute clothes, and candy for mommy and daddy. We LOVE holidays :)

Now I'm sitting here waiting for Delivery Diner to bring me my dinner, then Ryan and I will enjoy the rest of the movie we started last night, and hope and pray that baby falls asleep around 9, after me. I really feel like I might go to sleep now. Hoping and praying...

Baby's first vacation

We survived our first vacation with baby in tow. He was such an angel on the plane. I was a little nervous boarding for the flight there. Branson was hungry, and was pretty much screaming the airport down while we waited for our turn to board. I can't even tell you how many dirty looks I got, and how many people said, "you, know, you ARE pre-boarding since you have a baby." Actually, that rule no longer applies at Southwest. Family boarding is after the A group. Which is after pre-boarding kids that fly alone and handicapped, as well as business select. So, since we were already in the A group, we were one step ahead. Yippee. Once we were on the plane, the oh-so-kind gentleman in the row in front of us informed us that if the plane was not going to be full, we could spread out. I'm sure that had NOTHING to do with the fact that I was carrying a fussy baby. Once on board, we put Branson's ear plugs in, got situated enough to let him nurse, and he was out before we were off the ground. Didn't make a peep until we landed. Eat THAT old grumpy man that obviously has never had a baby.
Once we were in Vegas, Branson was immediately enamoured with the fast paced, bright lights, loud noises and pretty people. We checked in and headed up to our room. Except it wasn't just OUR room, apparently we were sharing it with someone named Cinthia Erwin. Since I was just a tad bit grossed out by the ruffled sheets, used coffee machine and un-emptied garbage, we called to complain. Because my husband is a coveted Diamond Member, we were "upgraded". So I was thinking, Great! Keenan can have enough room to sleep comfortably on a roll away and maybe Branson could even sleep in a crib! Boy was I ever right. We were upgraded to what would be considered a large New York apartment size suit. 1 bedroom with a king bed, 2 bathrooms, a dining room and a spacious living room with 2 couches. I'm sure you could imagine just how stoked we all were. Now imagine that excitement amplified simply because you are 12. Yup, Keenan was stoked. He wanted to order room service for lunch, so we did. The food wasn't anything to talk about, but I think he loved it simply because of the big picture, being treated like "VIP".
The rest of the trip was great. Branson loved the water fountains, and barely made a peep while were out moving around all day. Of course once it came time for mommy to eat, he inevitably decided he wanted to still be on the go. We enjoyed a wonderful meal with Chrissy, Chris and Keri. And they even babysat for us while we went to see Love with Keenan. I was so nervous leaving Branson simply because I was afraid he would have a melt down. He didn't. And the show was amazing. Made me miss dancing, that's for sure. I was so impressed with the element of hip-hop that was so present in a production about the Beatles. Who would have thought!
All in all the trip was a success. Good food, good shopping, good kids, good fun.

filling up my own glass

There are times in my life when it all seems still. Not the calm, peaceful, relaxing still of a pretty lake on a summer morning (wouldn't that be ncie). But the slowly sinking in quick sand kind of still. It seems like sometimes things are not good, and they aren't getting better and may never get better. I'm not talking about anything big here, just small things. A rediculous argument with my husband, the incessant meltdowns my son has every night that he can't sleep in my bed, the never ending pet messes, the car troubles, the countless loads of laundry that keep piling up. These things can drive you crazy if you decide to sit there and stew on the fact that they will ALWAYS happen. But you know what? Even if they "always" happen, it's different every time. So it isn't "still". The only thing that is still is my decision to not change my reaction to these things. So I've decided to change my reaction. This is much easier said than done, and I can tell you that sometimes my new reaction is not the right one by a long shot, and things seems worse before they get better. But who am I to let every day things dictate my emtions? Take over my feelings, my mood and my ability to love and be loved? This is one of my biggest faults. Too often the glass is half empty and I so badly want it to be half full. Hell fill it up all the way! My problem is, I depend too much on others to fill my glass. Everyday I'm searching for the strength to fill my own glass with my own happiness. Again not an easy task, but one I'm willing to tackle. If only I could stop looking for the answer in others. Ok. That was hard for me to type knowing that some people that I fear the judgement of will read this, but, that is what a blog is for, venting, right? And this is me taking control of me.

On to filling my glass. Branson is officially rolling over. Only from front to back, but the rest is on it's way, I can just feel it. He is so amazing, and he so gets life. You can just look at him and see that he gets it. He gets that it's funny when daddy plays peek-a-boo. It's funny because he disappears and then pops up out of no where. He gets that its even funnier when daddy disappears and Honey (our dog) pops up out of no where. Yes, my darling 5 month old son understands that this is a joke. I could watch him laugh all day long, it brings me so. much. joy.

Glow Worm Angel

St. Paddy's day came and went. We enjoyed corned beef and cabbage. It's really the easiest thing ever. I thrown the roast, cabbage, potato's, carrots and celery in the crock pot all day. I personally don't care for the meal, but Ryan LOVES it. So, we ate it. And now, it's over. Simple as that.

Branson is getting so good with his hands. He is putting everything in his mouth, and reaching for anything in site. He's also close to sitting up by himself. He even rolled over earlier this week. On the downside though, he has decided he doesn't want to sleep in his bed. No, he would rather sleep in mommy and daddy's bed. Who wouldn't? it's big, warm, cushy, and easy access to snuggles all night. The problem is, I am getting zero snuggle time with Ryan. So, we are trying to break it. It's not an easy task. And know what makes me really mad? From the beginning I said he wouldn't sleep with us. And he didn't! Until about a month ago. I so knew better, shame on me. Mommy needs a time out. So now we go down for bed at 9 pm, and it usually takes a good 2 hours of sleeping, waking, fussing, glow worming, back to sleep. Thank heavens for the glow worm though. Momo got it for him for Christmas. He LOVES it. I might developetennis finger (is that possible?) from having to push it for 30 minutes straight though. The second that thing dims and stops singing, we are back to fussing. I wish the darn thing had an auto/consecutive play on it.