Monday, March 29, 2010

Baby's first vacation


We survived our first vacation with baby in tow. He was such an angel on the plane. I was a little nervous boarding for the flight there. Branson was hungry, and was pretty much screaming the airport down while we waited for our turn to board. I can't even tell you how many dirty looks I got, and how many people said, "you, know, you ARE pre-boarding since you have a baby." Actually, that rule no longer applies at Southwest. Family boarding is after the A group. Which is after pre-boarding kids that fly alone and handicapped, as well as business select. So, since we were already in the A group, we were one step ahead. Yippee. Once we were on the plane, the oh-so-kind gentleman in the row in front of us informed us that if the plane was not going to be full, we could spread out. I'm sure that had NOTHING to do with the fact that I was carrying a fussy baby. Once on board, we put Branson's ear plugs in, got situated enough to let him nurse, and he was out before we were off the ground. Didn't make a peep until we landed. Eat THAT old grumpy man that obviously has never had a baby.
Once we were in Vegas, Branson was immediately enamoured with the fast paced, bright lights, loud noises and pretty people. We checked in and headed up to our room. Except it wasn't just OUR room, apparently we were sharing it with someone named Cinthia Erwin. Since I was just a tad bit grossed out by the ruffled sheets, used coffee machine and un-emptied garbage, we called to complain. Because my husband is a coveted Diamond Member, we were "upgraded". So I was thinking, Great! Keenan can have enough room to sleep comfortably on a roll away and maybe Branson could even sleep in a crib! Boy was I ever right. We were upgraded to what would be considered a large New York apartment size suit. 1 bedroom with a king bed, 2 bathrooms, a dining room and a spacious living room with 2 couches. I'm sure you could imagine just how stoked we all were. Now imagine that excitement amplified simply because you are 12. Yup, Keenan was stoked. He wanted to order room service for lunch, so we did. The food wasn't anything to talk about, but I think he loved it simply because of the big picture, being treated like "VIP".
The rest of the trip was great. Branson loved the water fountains, and barely made a peep while were out moving around all day. Of course once it came time for mommy to eat, he inevitably decided he wanted to still be on the go. We enjoyed a wonderful meal with Chrissy, Chris and Keri. And they even babysat for us while we went to see Love with Keenan. I was so nervous leaving Branson simply because I was afraid he would have a melt down. He didn't. And the show was amazing. Made me miss dancing, that's for sure. I was so impressed with the element of hip-hop that was so present in a production about the Beatles. Who would have thought!
All in all the trip was a success. Good food, good shopping, good kids, good fun.

Sunday, March 21, 2010

filling up my own glass

There are times in my life when it all seems still. Not the calm, peaceful, relaxing still of a pretty lake on a summer morning (wouldn't that be ncie). But the slowly sinking in quick sand kind of still. It seems like sometimes things are not good, and they aren't getting better and may never get better. I'm not talking about anything big here, just small things. A rediculous argument with my husband, the incessant meltdowns my son has every night that he can't sleep in my bed, the never ending pet messes, the car troubles, the countless loads of laundry that keep piling up. These things can drive you crazy if you decide to sit there and stew on the fact that they will ALWAYS happen. But you know what? Even if they "always" happen, it's different every time. So it isn't "still". The only thing that is still is my decision to not change my reaction to these things. So I've decided to change my reaction. This is much easier said than done, and I can tell you that sometimes my new reaction is not the right one by a long shot, and things seems worse before they get better. But who am I to let every day things dictate my emtions? Take over my feelings, my mood and my ability to love and be loved? This is one of my biggest faults. Too often the glass is half empty and I so badly want it to be half full. Hell fill it up all the way! My problem is, I depend too much on others to fill my glass. Everyday I'm searching for the strength to fill my own glass with my own happiness. Again not an easy task, but one I'm willing to tackle. If only I could stop looking for the answer in others. Ok. That was hard for me to type knowing that some people that I fear the judgement of will read this, but, that is what a blog is for, venting, right? And this is me taking control of me.

On to filling my glass. Branson is officially rolling over. Only from front to back, but the rest is on it's way, I can just feel it. He is so amazing, and he so gets life. You can just look at him and see that he gets it. He gets that it's funny when daddy plays peek-a-boo. It's funny because he disappears and then pops up out of no where. He gets that its even funnier when daddy disappears and Honey (our dog) pops up out of no where. Yes, my darling 5 month old son understands that this is a joke. I could watch him laugh all day long, it brings me so. much. joy.

Thursday, March 18, 2010

Glow Worm Angel







St. Paddy's day came and went. We enjoyed corned beef and cabbage. It's really the easiest thing ever. I thrown the roast, cabbage, potato's, carrots and celery in the crock pot all day. I personally don't care for the meal, but Ryan LOVES it. So, we ate it. And now, it's over. Simple as that.






Branson is getting so good with his hands. He is putting everything in his mouth, and reaching for anything in site. He's also close to sitting up by himself. He even rolled over earlier this week. On the downside though, he has decided he doesn't want to sleep in his bed. No, he would rather sleep in mommy and daddy's bed. Who wouldn't? it's big, warm, cushy, and easy access to snuggles all night. The problem is, I am getting zero snuggle time with Ryan. So, we are trying to break it. It's not an easy task. And know what makes me really mad? From the beginning I said he wouldn't sleep with us. And he didn't! Until about a month ago. I so knew better, shame on me. Mommy needs a time out. So now we go down for bed at 9 pm, and it usually takes a good 2 hours of sleeping, waking, fussing, glow worming, back to sleep. Thank heavens for the glow worm though. Momo got it for him for Christmas. He LOVES it. I might developetennis finger (is that possible?) from having to push it for 30 minutes straight though. The second that thing dims and stops singing, we are back to fussing. I wish the darn thing had an auto/consecutive play on it.

Monday, March 15, 2010

Annoying tourist mom? that's me!

We were finally able to cancel all the funeral arangements. After not getting better for a full week, I went on antibiotics. My nasty cold turned into an even nastier sinus infection. I haven't had one in so long, I forgot just how gloriously terrible they are. My ear was plugged for a solid 6 days, which made my equalibrium totally off. So not only was I off balance, but for once in my life I couldn't hear at all. Ryan loved it, he was able to listen to the TV at normally forbidden levels. I actually have quite good hearing, even bordering hypersensativity. But, last week I couldn't even hear myself whisper. When it finally popped, everything was amazingly clear and loud, and of course it was painful. Today is the first day I feel almost normal. I was able to go get my hair done for the first time in months. And I could actually hold a converstation with my stylist with out having to blow my nose every 10 minutes.

It's pretty cool how doing one simple, small act of selfishness can make all the difference in the world on how you view yourself. I haven't had my hair done in over 7 months. I didn't realize just how low my self esteem was until I looked in the mirror after my appointment, and actually felt kind of pretty. You know how you felt at 19, when you get all dolled up to go out and wow the world? That kind of pretty, if only for a split second. Branson has consumed all of my time, and I have invested literally less than 5 minutes a day into my appearance since before he was born. Not that looks are everything, but I think it's important to feel pretty. It's important to find something I like about myself everyday, even something so small, like my hair color, or semi-clear skin. It's important for daddies to find mommies attractive, and in order for mommy to believe it, she has to feel it. And Ryan has been so great about telling me how beautiful I am. Even on the days I barley make it to the shower, he has something sweet to say. God bless him.

Branson has developed his belly laugh. Ryan gets it out of him daily (I must be chopped liver, he never does it for me). It's pretty cute to see Ryan jumping around like a clown, just to get B to laugh. Though he doesn't have to do much, he can just look at him and Branson breaks out laughing. I have to come to the conclusion that I am nothing but the milk lady, and the comforter. Ryan is the fun parent. Good cop/bad cop type thing. I wonder where that leaves us in the future...

We are taking our first trip with Branson next week. Keenan will fly in to town, and then we are off to Vegas. I found out I am able to take a bottle on the plane, but they have to test it first. I wonder what they are testing it for, "yup, tested positive for breast milk." Ya think? And I'm really not sure about this whole idea of Branson being loose on my lap the whole flight. I have the reoccurring day dream/nightmare of him flying down the isle in an emergency. There has GOT to be a safer way for infants to fly, right? But that doesn't top my main concern, maneuvering a stroller through Vegas for a week. If you have been to LV in the last few years, you know just how busy it is. And you know that annoying mom that is pushing her way through lines and crowds with that gaudy stroller and screaming baby in tow? Well friends, that's going to be me in a few days. I keep wishing there was some way to sneak the notsopackable bugaboo with us, so at least I would be doing it in style. Instead I'm going to be THAT mom. Outcome to follow...

Monday, March 8, 2010

Baby Crush










Well, after not being sick for almost 2 years, I finally got this nasty cold. And I REALLY got it. I feel like death, and have asked Ryan to make sure I have a nice funeral a couple of times. Seriously though, it's terrible! I can't believe how hard it is to entertain a 4 month old while you are sick. My Mom was gracious enough to come over most of last week and help me out. And Thank God Ryan is home. Yesterday he took the baby after I fed him and let me rest a while longer. Poor guy finally understands why I get nothing done. It took him a half an hour to make a sandwhich. Branson is EXTREMELY social and must be around people all the time. After I got up and came out into the living room, I plopped my butt right back down on the couch and didn't move. Branson and I enjoyed a nice hour long nap until amost 5, then woke up and watched the Oscars. He was pretty content to just hang with Mom, and we talked about all the fashion on the red carpet. Or at least I did, he was probably telling me he wanted to watch monster trucks instead or something.

Branson has discovered his crush. The beautiful Sandra Bullock was being interviewed by Babwa Wawa (come on, you know it's funny!) and every time they showed Sandy he got the biggest smile and curlled into his dad. Then today, she was on the Ellen show and he did the exact same thing! Only for Sandra, and the Kardashians. He likes those brunetts!
Ryan and I spent pretty much the entire day at Urgent Care. Which really sucked for me because since I'm nursing all I can take is nose spray. Great, but what about my sore throat, itchy eyes, plugged ears, cough, sneezing and aching muscles? Ah, well.
My wonderful (but crazy) Dad and Marlaina are going to run 31 miles this weekend. I hope they survive. The craziest part is they are going to run 50 miles in the near future. Wow. I'm not sure I could run 2 miles right now. Maybe I should start working out...








Friday, March 5, 2010

I like to eat, eat, eat...

Branson slept SOOOO well last night. Only woke up once at 5:30 to eat. I of course, did not sleep well. I'm thinking I got an hour total. Ah, the life of me.

Branson had his first taste of solids today. It was a banana, and he LOVED it! It was so cute! I had to video tape it for Ryan. I so wanted to wait until he is 6 months for solids, but he just can't wait any longer. He is so interested in food. Heck, the kid is interested in EVERYTHING! So observant and always thinking, I love it.

A lot of people have been asking/telling me to give him water bottles. With a breastfed baby there is no need to (maybe with formula as well, I don't know). He gets his thirst quenched with the beginning flow when he eats. Once he is on more solids and it's warmer outside, then yes I will give him water bottles. But, right now he doesn't need them.

Ryan comes home tomorrow (missed his flight today) and we are excited. Yay for daddy!

Thursday, March 4, 2010

Well Branson is still sick. Yesterday was the worst. He developed a little wheeze to go with his cough, red eyes, stuffy nose and sneezing. He is CONSTANTLY fussy, very unlike him. He is normally the happiest, most content baby. Right now though if he isn't being held or touched he is fussing. It really breaks my heart. He slept pretty good last night, waking up a few times to nurse, but I think that might be more of a comfort thing than hunger at this point. My mom has been quite a big help, coming over to entertain Branson while I get a few mundane things done. And after she left this afternoon, he was actually content enough to sit in his chair and babble at the TV for a half hour so I could put groceries away and eat lunch. Right this moment, he is sitting in his boppy right next to me fighting sleep. So cute, and a little discouraging at the same time. He wants his binky so bad, but every time I put it in his mouth he pulls it right back out. Then fusses until I put it back in. I'm thinking though, that the sandman is about to make an appearance. At which point, I may let him visit me as well. - Scratch that. Grumpah just called and is on his way. Haven't seen him in a few days, so I'll take a visit from him over a nap anyhow :)


With Ryan gone, it's usually my time to really get down and dirty and deep clean the house. It was my intent to mop and steam clean all the floors, vaccum all the carpets, dust all the rooms, scrub all the bathtubs, and do a deep clean of the kitchen. What did I end up getting done? None of that. The only thing I got done was paying our bills for this month, and that took me starting monday and finishing today. My priorities were very different with a sick baby. I washed and cleaned all his bedding, blankets and clothes. Something my mom did for me when I was sick, and her mom did for her. There is nothing like getting out of a bath and putting on warm PJ's and getting into a warm clean bed. I hope it was a little comfort for Branson. On the upside, they wouldn't give him his 4 month shots so we rescheduled for next week, and Ryan will be able to make it. I can't wait for him to get home. He is really missed when he is gone. I'm sure he misses being home too.


In random news: I've decided to give in after a few years and I'm going to get an iphone. Something I said I would never do. But, I'm going to. I'm a little ashamed to admit it, since I've been such and advocate against them. But, with all the apps, I feel like I'm missing out. I'm most looking forward the one that lets you look up a babies symptoms, and it tells you what you should do for them (of course, right?).


I'm also looking forward to our trip to Vegas later this month. it will be our first time traveling with little Branson, and I'm a little nervous and a lot excited. I can't WAIT to see Chrissy and Kari, and Keenan is going with us too. It will be an nice change of scenery for me, since I haven't been anywhere in a year. A year exactly, actually.

Monday, March 1, 2010

Evil Cold


Branson sleeping peacefully, before the cough hit.
Today I learned the full appreciation I have for my parents. I now firmly believe that you cannot truely know just how much your parents loved you until you have children of your own. So, Mom and Dad, thank you, and, I'm sorry. My heart broke today. Everytime Branson coughed I wanted to take that cough out of his mouth before he even opened it. I cringed waiting for him to show me how much it hurt on his sweet little, red rimmed eyed face. It makes me want to have words with the person that gave this terrible cold to him. Then, I wanted to have words with myself for keeping him out most of the day yesterday, and not making sure he got a nap in. I guess that's part of mommyhood, but I don't like it. I never want him to hurt. I want to take it all from him 1000 times over. I felt guilty complaining of not getting any sleep last night, knowing that I got no sleep because he got no sleep, and he deserves a good nights sleep. Instead this dreaded cough woke him up numerous times. And the best I could do was cuddle him close and hope my smell and touch would soothe him just a little.


On a different note. Today is laundry day. Well, every day is laundry day but today is the day I wash mine and Ryan's clothes. And every week, I get a little more bitter. The Iron levels in our water were 600 times the normal level just a few weeks ago, and what color is Iron? Red. So what color was our water? Red. So what color does that make my whites? Brown. Ugh.